Independent = Intimidating

It's been said that the independent woman is the Trojan horse to a guy's confidence. I have found that to be true. Independence alone is enough, but there are other factors that play into unknowingly intimidating a guy.

According to the average man,attractive, independent, assertive, successful women are the biggest intimidators.

And I quote:

K. G. "Uhm, overwhelming beauty, superior intellect or ablility, and incompatible personality, or a combination of the above can intimidate. Generally speaking. There can be a lot of other factors, but not knowing the guy that's just what sprang to my mind. For Starters. Not many men are raised or taught to deal with such a woman. Common response is to conquer the subdue instead of share and support. Next common would be to run or hide. Lol. The rare response would be to offer to join forces and conquer the world together."(No, he is not a gamer, nerd, or creep. He's simply a kid wtih an excellent sense of humor.)

D.P. "Women who are confident in themselves are often intimidating, which is funny because that is actually what a man wants. I went on a date with a woman who had her masters degree and that was incredibly intimidating, but she was also 4 years older, which played a part. Then there are some girls who just give off a vibe that is intimidating. They seem to say you can be my friend, but once you start getting romantically involved you're history. So, the way a girl can act is also intimidating. You want to be open, inviting, and friendly."

S.G. "The need to assert your independence and control at every opportunity." When he asked if this was about me, I said if you think I am intimidating, please tell me why. He responded with: "You're fiercely independent Jessica. Contrary to popular belief, men (the ones that are looking for more than hassle-free sex anyway) want to take care of the women they care about."

A. N. "Attitude the way you present yourself. Stuff like that."

M.L. " You might make them feel less of a man because you seem to be more intellectual than him. Or you could just be hotter than he is use to. If you're intimidating then it just may show some insecurities in him. Which is good if he has courage to rise to the occasion. If he is overly cocky or won't try that's not as good."

T.T. "Oh my! I guess someone who is overly assertive and constantly seeks control."

N.C." Depends on the guy but it could be a lot of different things. Bluntness, bossy, more successful, smarter, stronger... it's mostly an insecurity thing."

Z.H. "Honestly one of the biggest is how pretty they are... a lot of guys think that if she is really pretty then she is out of his league. Another could be that she doesn't acknowledge him so he assumes she's not interested."

T.P. "Several things. Generally to nice guys it's because they thing you're too good for them. Other guys it's because you're better at something or you are straight forward. Maybe you make too much money."

D.B. "There are a few things that come to mind. 1) he likes her. 2) She is hard to read. 3) She has an influence or control over his current situation. Independent! That is a good one all on it's own." When asked what it meant to be assertive in guy language he responded with: "Confident and aggressive would be how I see it. Keep in mind this doesn't fit all guys. I think assertiveness is good, as long as it's not overbearing. It's sort of a conundrum really."

C.G. "Hmmm... to be honest, attitude and demeanor is intimidating to me for both sexes. Appearance takes a back seat." When asked about assertive mannerisms he said: "Being the first to act and knowing what you want. Assertive is generally a good thing. That's very strange."

I hear guys complaining all the time about clingy and expensive women. The girl who acts like a puppy dog,and demands you financially support her when just dating. So, where do we find the balance between being too assertive and independent, and being far too clingy? This, it would seem, is the question. And it once again reverts back to the thought Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus... For me personally, I love being an independent woman. I played the roll of timid puppy dog once upon a time, and I found I would rather be dynamic than a mouse. If that means I am intimidating, I would have to say to you men out there... Grow some legs, walk out of the pansy patch. Try getting to know us independent women. You'll find most of us have a tender and nurturing side.

For the women who need a kick and giggle, read this blog post by Lynn Price: http://lynnprice1.blogspot.com/2008/08/women-vs-men.html