My Baby Girl
Starlight, Starbright...
"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream." Vincent Van Gogh
Note To My Pregnant Self...
DO NOT PUT MALLOWS ON THE BROWNIES!!! You will eat half the pan before Aaron gets home, and will most likely end up birthing a 13 pound baby after gaining 50 extra pounds...
(Thank heavens I didn't do that all in one day! Then I'd really be a fatty! Lol!)
Buddha Is Not My Name...
Holy mother of pearl... I am exhausted. And ready for bedtime. And wanting to get out of these pants... but I am sitting on my parents couch eating pie. Why? Because I don't want to sit in my cold, empty, apartment. So -- I will continue to eat my pie, and crave the wonder that is a quiet living space that I could be sitting in... but won't because I am pregnant and no longer logical. Stupid things make me cry. Even more stupid things make me annoyed. And the most peculiar things now make me break out in hives. Oh... and my allergy to anti-bacterial soap is now greater than it used to be. Yup, pretty sure I wanted to die about half an hour ago... I want to go home.
I've also learned that once you become "obviously pregnant" your body is no longer your own. Your belly becomes public property. I've informed my dad I would like a toll box for Christmas. I figure if Buddha gets a penny whenever you rub his belly, I can too! Except I am raising my prices. I've decided it's $0.25 for a belly rub, $1.00 for each gooey phrase, and $5.00 for every bit of stupid advice I get from women who mean well... but really should keep it to themselves... Example: I was walking around Walmart the other day looking for those delicious chocolate oranges. You know, the ones you have to whack against something hard so you can break apart the orange slices... As I wandering around I stopped at the baby section, naturally, when an older woman stops me with a huge smile on her face --
Her: "Oh! Are you expecting!?"
Me: "Yes, I am!" (Thought bubble: No, I'm just oddly shaped and don't appreciate your pointing it out...)
Her: "How are along are you? Isn't pregnancy just a miracle!"
Me: "I am 18 weeks. It's a girl, and it is quite the experience!" (Miracle, yes. At least you didn't say magical like the last lady...)
Her: "Oh girls are so much fun! Pink everywhere! Are you showing stretch marks? I know just the thing to cure them! Take crisco, and rub it along the outer edges of your belly. Especially along the lower half of the uterous, and your hips. Someone as small as you are bound to get stretch marks! You'll never be able to wear a bikini again!"
Me: "Thank you for the suggestion! So far no stretch marks, but I'll be sure to store that away in my memory! My husband is waiting for me over in electronics, so I'd better hurry over there!" (PINK!? Woman you obviously don't know me... My kid will NOT have pink everywhere. A bit, yes. But she will have many other colors in her repertoire. As far as crisco goes, madame that is worse than the butter suggestion from the last lady! Stretch marks will happen, or they won't happen. It's in your genetics. The only thing you can do that might help increase the elasticity of your skin is drink plenty of water, and add vitamin E into your regular dietary pill intake. GAH, I really need a toll box.)
Her: "Oh of course, I know how men are! I'm just happy I could help out a new mother! Pregnancy is such a magical experience! Enjoy it while you can! Your third trimester will knock you out! But it is worth it in the end!"
Me: "Haha! So I've heard! Thank you!" (Magical... really!? Magical? No, try invasive, uncomfortable, slightly gross, and quite alien... Miracle, yes. The fact that we have been designed to reproduce. Yes I find that to be quite fascinating... but magical? Why is everyone using that term!? And thank you for those heartwarming thoughts about the rest of this experience. Such a "magical" ending!)
It isn't that I don't enjoy being pregnant. It has been quite the experience! I just like my personal space. I have a bubble, and I don't enjoy many people invading it. If you are a close friend, and you rub my belly that is one thing. But a total stranger... No. Not kosher! Also, some advice I do appreciate. Such as how to deal with some of the aches and pains, and foods that help with different things such as nausea or what gets rid of the nasty taste of prenatals the best, or where to find the cheapest maternity clothes that are still cute. These random wives tale remedies are a bunch of nonsense, and really get annoying fast!
As for right now, I think I'll head home and take a nap. Aaron should be home now.
I've also learned that once you become "obviously pregnant" your body is no longer your own. Your belly becomes public property. I've informed my dad I would like a toll box for Christmas. I figure if Buddha gets a penny whenever you rub his belly, I can too! Except I am raising my prices. I've decided it's $0.25 for a belly rub, $1.00 for each gooey phrase, and $5.00 for every bit of stupid advice I get from women who mean well... but really should keep it to themselves... Example: I was walking around Walmart the other day looking for those delicious chocolate oranges. You know, the ones you have to whack against something hard so you can break apart the orange slices... As I wandering around I stopped at the baby section, naturally, when an older woman stops me with a huge smile on her face --
Her: "Oh! Are you expecting!?"
Me: "Yes, I am!" (Thought bubble: No, I'm just oddly shaped and don't appreciate your pointing it out...)
Her: "How are along are you? Isn't pregnancy just a miracle!"
Me: "I am 18 weeks. It's a girl, and it is quite the experience!" (Miracle, yes. At least you didn't say magical like the last lady...)
Her: "Oh girls are so much fun! Pink everywhere! Are you showing stretch marks? I know just the thing to cure them! Take crisco, and rub it along the outer edges of your belly. Especially along the lower half of the uterous, and your hips. Someone as small as you are bound to get stretch marks! You'll never be able to wear a bikini again!"
Me: "Thank you for the suggestion! So far no stretch marks, but I'll be sure to store that away in my memory! My husband is waiting for me over in electronics, so I'd better hurry over there!" (PINK!? Woman you obviously don't know me... My kid will NOT have pink everywhere. A bit, yes. But she will have many other colors in her repertoire. As far as crisco goes, madame that is worse than the butter suggestion from the last lady! Stretch marks will happen, or they won't happen. It's in your genetics. The only thing you can do that might help increase the elasticity of your skin is drink plenty of water, and add vitamin E into your regular dietary pill intake. GAH, I really need a toll box.)
Her: "Oh of course, I know how men are! I'm just happy I could help out a new mother! Pregnancy is such a magical experience! Enjoy it while you can! Your third trimester will knock you out! But it is worth it in the end!"
Me: "Haha! So I've heard! Thank you!" (Magical... really!? Magical? No, try invasive, uncomfortable, slightly gross, and quite alien... Miracle, yes. The fact that we have been designed to reproduce. Yes I find that to be quite fascinating... but magical? Why is everyone using that term!? And thank you for those heartwarming thoughts about the rest of this experience. Such a "magical" ending!)
It isn't that I don't enjoy being pregnant. It has been quite the experience! I just like my personal space. I have a bubble, and I don't enjoy many people invading it. If you are a close friend, and you rub my belly that is one thing. But a total stranger... No. Not kosher! Also, some advice I do appreciate. Such as how to deal with some of the aches and pains, and foods that help with different things such as nausea or what gets rid of the nasty taste of prenatals the best, or where to find the cheapest maternity clothes that are still cute. These random wives tale remedies are a bunch of nonsense, and really get annoying fast!
As for right now, I think I'll head home and take a nap. Aaron should be home now.
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