Watch me dream for the impossible... Stanford, New York Times, a Family... is it really possible? Can I really do it, or will I wind up living the small town life forever... I have this dream, where I am sitting outside on a bench in a white summer dress, my hair is long, and curly. The guy I've been dreaming about for years (cliche' I know...) walks up, takes my hand, and pulls me into Tiffany's. Turning me around to face him he tells me to pick any ring I want, then gets down on his knee and proposes... I have no financial debt, a degree, a book in with the editor about to be put into print, and I've finally found the love of my life... Maybe I've run wild with my imagination, but... I've had a lot of time to think about this. I used to picture it on a beach somewhere, but that was tainted, and I realized... a little too much. Even for me :) I'd burst out laughing if a guy every really did that. I couldn't even picture it without giggling at it. I'm too young for marriage, and not ready to date seriously again, but that doesn't mean I don't want it. Some day when I am not so worried about everyone else, and I'm finally settled and secure in where I am at. That is the day when I will walk out of my door and say okay, I'm ready, but until then I am going to try and focus on me, and most likely falling a few times when I get so lost in everyone else around me, but I'll get there... I'm not so delusional as to believe everything I dream... Financial security takes years, and if I want to go to Stanford I'll most likely be swimming in school loans, and my first book probably won't score the New York Times, but I can try... Don't bother telling me Love Finds You, You Don't Find Love...because I won't listen to you, nor will I listen when you tell me no one actually proposes in Tiffanys and I most likely won't be wearing a white summer dress when it happens... And It may be just a dream, but it's my dream... and yes, I still get butterflies...
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