Apathy...

I could not believe what I was seeing this morning. My mother was trying to move the couches from our sitting room to her bedroom... An entire flight of stairs stood in her way, she could not lift them, nor was I going to let her try. Damn my weaknesses. Damn the frailty of my heart and lungs, and damn the struggle it is to lift and carry much of anything. So, now I sit after moving a love-seat, and an arm chair up those 17 stairs, and into the hallway at the top. I couldn't do it after that. I don't have the strength, despite my will. My arms are full of lead, my lungs and heart are giving me pain, and I don't have it in me to care... I am apathetic towards it. I'll sit long enough to procure enough to move the last love-seat up those final stairs. Walk back down, re-arrange the new couches, and the new chair. Then I'll sit again until I my legs can support this damaged body. Pick myself up, find the power drill, take off the legs of the old furniture, take the hinges off of the door to my mothers bedroom and push the 2 love-seats, and arm chair into her room. Place the legs back on the furniture, arrange it into however she wants it placed... and collapse on my bed, fighting back the desire to scream because I don't have the lung power for it... How long is recovery you ask? Well... when one is allowed to rest, not longer than 6 months... but as I am still trying to be super woman... I'll wager I take the full year it takes to make a complete and absolute recovery. I've already had 2 relapses, and I'll dare another... but I will not allow my mother to be put in a place of strain, or over-exertion... This is not my being dramatic. This is fact. This is my truth. Damn my father, and brother alike... I'll do it myself. Who needs a man, when you're an Aries...