When life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness, who will you choose to face it with? Will it be someone you trust? Will they be wise? Will their love for you help them to guide you to the light, or will they lose their way in the darkness... Will they make noble choices, or will that person be someone un-tested, someone new. Life comes rushing at us fast from out of the darkness, and when it does, is there someone in your life you can count on. Someone who will watch over you when you stumble and fall, someone with a hand to help you up and in that moment give you the strength to face your fears alone...
"There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow. When we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and healed. To have despaired and recovered hope..."
There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads, afraid and confused, and without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments will define the rest of our days. Naturally, when faced with the unknown most of us prefer to turn around and go back. Every once in a while people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the darkness, and pain of going it alone. Just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in, or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream...
"We all live in a house of fire. No fire department to call, no way out. Just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the house down. With us trapped, locked inside" -Tennessee Williams
9 June 2008
I've been in hospital care for almost 3 weeks now. I'm tired. I miss home, and I'm wearing down, but I know that my Lord and Savior will give me the strength I need to carry on until I am finally released. I've been through 3 major surgeries in these last 2 weeks. I've experienced many miracles, and had many more prayers answered. I've never once been left to battle this alone. I thank my father in Heaven for all the angels he's sent to watch over me and keep me company. I have 3 amazing friends who have carried me through. Sunnie Lynne Rushton has spent countless hours with me in each hospital. Stanley Langford Lloyd was willing to come home, he's cried with me, and sent his family to keep me company. Geri Brooke Graves... Brooke has sent comfort and strength, though she may not say much, I can feel her love and support daily. My family has been unbelievable! My mom has been there every step. Her visits have been what kept me going some days. My dad, he's started to say 'I love you,' he's making my car payments, and making sure I take the time to heal. Ryan has been Ryan and that's all I can ask. Leesa has cried with me, and for me. I can't believe how amazing that girl is! Miranda draws picture after picture, and Emma is afraid to touch me for fear that she'll hurt me. My extended family visits daily, and my singles ward has done all they can to make sure I know they are thinking of me. I wouldn't have made it this far without all the prayers, fasting, and testimonies of everyone. My bishop has been there for every surgery, and visits or calls regularly. I have been so blessed and looked after. I cry still, because I miss home, but I'll make it through. I'll stand true, till the end is found. ~Jessica Meredith Gustafson
2 comments:
You phrase everything so wonderfully. This post can be related to many different instances in anyone's life. Thank you for sharing Jess.
You and I are so much alike that it scares me. I am at my own crossroad and am more confused than I have been in my entire life. But I know that I am not alone in this, and neither are you. I am here sis. Love you!
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