This week has been a scary week in my family. My daddy has an Aortic Valve disorder, and has a few heart troubles because of it. The cold really gets him though. His lungs freeze up and it will often times bring him to his knees. Last night was one of the worse episodes I've experienced personally. We had gone to Walmart at Jordan Landing to try and find the gift he wants to give to my mom. (We've looked everywhere... but we are determined to get it!) His heart and chest had been hurting him the entire drive. I was already nervous going in, but then he fell into the snow. Add more nerves... We almost got to electronics when we had to stop at the bikes so my dad could try and get control over the pain. What I mean is: he leans over and puts pressure on his chest and holds his breath for about 3 seconds and then slowly releases. He does this over and over again until he feels like he has a handle on it. It helps him gain a control over his body. (My daddy and I are the same in many things. He is the one I turn to at my house, but one thing we share is a hatred for pain medications. They make your head fuzzy and you can't every tell what is going on with your body. Luckily we've both developed a strong tolerance for pain. :) My dad however, should sometimes relent. He is more stubborn about it than I am. Even the best of us need help sometimes.) We made it to electronics after about 5 minutes at the bike rack. Good news is: We found the gift! And at a price we like! Bad news: My daddy could hardly walk. We tried to walk down a few isles. He had to stop at a cart that was full of boxed up stock. After about 10 mintues, and very nervous Jess later... we walked back to where we found our preferred item, and grabbed the empty cart that was still there. He thought we could maybe "fake it" with this... HA! We got down to the photo area and he took a seat at the stool they have in front of their Kodak machines. He sat down and leaned over the cart. I've seen my daddy have a heart attack. I've seen him after a really bad heart attack so I know what to look for. Every sign was there, with a few more worries thrown in the mix. He was pale, a very chalky pale. Shaky, short of breath, and wobbly. I've never heard my poor papa curse up a storm like that but I've also never experience his pain. It was then that I realized this was one of the worst pains he'd ever felt and I grew to a level of fear, not just nerves but straight up fear. He could hardly speak above a whisper. He kept asking me not to let him hit the ground, to make sure he didn't hit the ground. I sent a text to my mom and asked her to come and help me. 2 walmart workers came and offered their services. My daddy hates making a scene. When he had his heart attack in the airport back in '97 he was so upset. I tried to convey that we had it under control, but when they came back about 10 minutes later and we were still in the same position they asked if I wanted a wheelchair. I accepted this. I needed to get my dad to a place where he could get the help he needed. (Lesson learned: Walmart does not have a push wheelchair, just stupid, beyond slow put-put chairs. It took the cigarette breath lady over 15 minutes to ride it from the front doors to electronics.) In that time, my dad has said he needed to lie down. I helped him off the stool and sat with him on the floor at that same time allowing one of the Walmart people to call for an ambulance. The floor was too cold. I was shaking from the cold (I'm not much better at handling cold...) and my dad's breathing had changed. It was becoming harder for him to breath. He crawled forward to a pallet of stock boxes and knelt at them placing his head in his hands and trying to gain control over it all. He was losing that fight, and he turned to me and said "Jess, I'm not going to make it.[to the car] I can't breath." This, more than anything scared me to death. (One of my very worst fears is going to my dad's store after hours to do his deposits for him and finding him in a crumple on the floor of his shoe repair. This was starting to feel a bit like finding him like that...) Me being the quick thinker I am in a crisis situation, asked if they had a chair with wheels. Any kind of a chair with wheels and preferably with arm rests. I needed to get him out of there! And fast! 5 minutes later I had a chair with wheels and arm rests. Luckily about 5 seconds later the Emt's arrived. I started to answer their question, and my mom called to say she was parked and running back to us. I answered as many questions as I could. "His name is Micheal Gustafson, he is 45, about 130-140lbs. He had open heart surgery at age 13, in '77. He has an aortic valve disorder. His date of birth is 2/12/... 45 years ago. Please don't let him fall." I beat his ambulance to JVH and soon met up with him and my mother in the ER room 4. My mom left after a bit as we have small children still running around our house and she gets up for work at 5am, and it was well past midnight. It was just me and my dad for about 45 minutes. We learned his heart has grown since 2006 (His last big hospital experience, where he was in the bed...) and he has nodules on his lungs (not cancerous, but still scary...) and they wanted to admit him into the hospital to make sure this wasn't a heart attack, and to see if they couldn't find any answers as to why the cold hits him so hard. At about 1:30 a very good friend of mine came to sit with me, and offer the comfort of their presence and support. I can't express my gratitude for the love I have felt from friends be it via text messages, phone calls, or prayers. It really is a strength to know that I have people I can count on at any time, day or night to come to my aid, and the aid of my family. I truly do love all of you, and wish you nothing but the best! My daddy is still in the ICU at JVH, but we are hoping to have him home tonight!
This is the man that taught me to love music, to go for all I had in me, and to never let anyone take away from me what I believe and know to be true. Even if it is him I am fighting against. This is my father, the strongest, bravest man I know. I love you Papa!
My papa was playing the guitar while Leesa was singing along with him, and pretending to play the guitar. Those of us in my family who are musically inclined, play by ear. I am the only one that can read sheet music (I'm trying to teach Leesa). So, papa is figuring this song out as I am filming. It's pretty neat actually! Not to mention I take you on a tour of our lovely , then un-finished but functional recording studio in the basement of our house. (The studio has since been almost finished, and is still fully functional... and the drums are even set up!)
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