Word To The Wise...

Things you should NEVER say to a pregnant woman...
--Especially a smart-ass/sarcastic one.

* WOAH!! Your butt, boobs, and belly are HUGE!!
-- I know right! I'm catching up to you!

* Are you pregnant?
-- Nope, I'm just fat and oddly shaped.

* Rub butter or crisco on your belly to prevent stretch marks.
-- Um... I think you are thinking of a different kind of 'bun in the oven.'

* Just wait until labor. You'll never get your hips back. I tore, bad. 12 stitches!
-- Should have used more crisco. I hear it prevents sticking...

* The [..insert place here..] has an excellent gym/workout program. The [..Insert random diet here..] works wonders too!
-- Thanks, but I think I'll stick with my weight loss program. It's called Labor and Delivery.

* Maybe you should hold off on the fries... you're baby doesn't need anything else to eat. You look like you are going to pop!
-- Lady, try and take my fries away from me, and you'll pull back a bloody stump!

* You look a little young to be pregnant?
-- Just doing my part to keep Utah in the top 10% for teen pregnancy.

* You're going to get your GED right? Give your baby a somewhat of a decent example.
-- Is that what you did?

* Isn't pregnancy just 'Magical?'
-- Nope. Oh, by the way Disney called, they want their phrase back...

* So, how did this happen?
-- Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much...

* Is it the same father as the other one?
-- You know, I never thought to check...
(Side note: the person meant my 3 year old baby brother who is sometimes with me...)