For you... anything!

A few points I want to make:

• I am now 23 years old, I have 3.5 months to my wedding day. I have always said, I would be married in year 23.
• I finally met [in person] LaTasha Kay Widdison.
• I have the worlds greatest [future] In-laws!
• My favorite, and amazing, best friend Alaina Mills has been home for almost 3 months now! I couldn't be happier and more thrilled to be able to spend as much time as possible with her!
• Most importantly, I finally have a man in my life that I can and do depend on for anything and everything! Aaron is the best man that I know! Which is a good thing as I am sealing myself to him for time and all eternity 21 July, 2011 at 8:00am at the Salt Lake City Temple!!!

Let me just gush for a moment please. It could be that I am just that annoying love-sick girl at the moment, or it may truly be that I am without a doubt happy, and secure with my life situation right now! I have a man that I love, and that loves me back. Unconditionally! He is everything I have ever wanted in a man, right down to his defined chin, height, eye color, and yes, even shoe size! He is everything, and more. He fills in the cracks I left when I pictured my perfect guy, In my journal I have a very detailed description, that is even a little fairytale-esk at bullet points, for the perfect man. -- Aaron fulfilled them, and added more. I can't tell you how grateful, and amazed I was when I re-read that list, and was able to put a check by each thing. Fairy tales aren't supposed to come true. They are supposed to be pretend, yay disney you suck... Thank putting the prince Philip image in my mind and then leaving me to face the world of un-perfect men type thing. Right...? Wrong! Aaron has his faults, don't get me wrong, but they aren't faults you normally find. At least not the ones I have dated in the past. Aaron is not a flake. He is not all talk. He is not a meat-head. He is not a liar. He doesn't take advantage of situations. He isn't lazy, judgemental, shallow. Aaron is a gentleman. He opens every door, and pays for every date we go on, ,and makes sure I am happy, and that I have what I want and feel I need while still allowing/helping me feel capable and independant. Aaron knows how to compromise with me. He gives me my freedom, but still has this ability to put his foot down, and have me respect it. I have never met anyone that could do that. Any time anyone tried, I felt smothered, and I would run the other way. I would fight back. I don't with him. Aaron defends me, without making me appear weak. I could go on forever about how wonderful he is, but we all know a great man happens because of even more amazing parents. So I have to credit a lot of Aaron's behaviors and character to his parents teaching. Ron and Eva are the most amazing people, let alone parents! All of their children are phenomenal people! I feel so blessed to be able to join and be a part of their family! I look forward to Tuesdays for Durrant family night! I love that this family takes time out of their life, and busy schedules to spend time together as a family! It truly is amazing to feel the love and harmony a family can have for and with one another! That is something I have never had, but always wanted. I am truly excited for the future!!!

Reversed Deja Vu

I am coming up on the 3 year mark to the single most frightening experience of my short life time. May 21, 2008 will forever be a day that I remember. I still dream about it, and the 4 weeks that followed it. I still wonder how people reacted, what went through their minds, and what they felt. In the moments I do remember, I know how I felt. I know how I reacted, and I know what was going through my mind. There are mornings when the dreams are so real I wake up with the taste of hospital in my mouth, and the scent of gauze still haunting me. I read something today that reminded me of the morning I finally let myself cry. The morning I finally gave myself a moment to fall into weakness, and feel the fear I'd been denying for so long. At the end of that I made a promise to myself. I chose life. I promised I would forever choose life, and no matter what happened next, I was going to survive through it all. 

"I’m in this for the long run, and even though my world is uncertain and changing, I want nothing more than to live an extraordinary life. I may be lonely, scared, and little sad at the moment, but I think that that’s alright...for now. I am being stretched constantly, and all I can do is breathe, and try to choose between what’s right and easy."

 

So far, I have. I have not only survived, but I have learned how to live! I am happy, and I am in this for the long run! I am running as fast as time will let me, and I am pushing boundaries I have never dared to push. Until now. I couldn't be more excited, and scared for what is happening, and what has yet to happen. This is a good thing! I can feel it. I am learning. I am growing. And, I am where I am supposed to be. 

No one really knows the end, or what will happen, though we may plan every detail... it's all a test of faith.

I suppose that is half the excitement. . .

Small Taste Of Sunshine...

I have LOVED today! The bright sunlight, the warmer feel, and of course -- the fact that it is Temple Thursday!

I have begun compiling the wedding music playlist. (I'll post the song list a little later) It's mildly exciting, but a tad more tricky than anticipated. It's alright though, I'll figure it out. (Any suggestions are welcome!)

Also... Decorations, clothing choices, and food options. Not my favorite thing to try and figure out! Thank heavens for Aaron, my FMIL (Future Mother In Law) Eva, my future sister in law Jaclyne, and of course, my lovely friends for being so willing to help me out! I would have run away screaming a long time ago if it weren't for you! (I may have been part of/in a lot of weddings, but for some reason, I've hit a brick wall with trying to plan my own. Go figure...)