Only As True As Our Reflections...

(This is going to be a long post, but well worth the read... just FYI)

I picked up my pride and I headed off to Taylor Andrews Academy of Hair Design yesterday morning (10/7/09) with one of my very best friends Sunnie Rushton. We were going to a class taught by Allison Price (http://www.allisonprice.typepad.com/) she was an instructor at T.A. while I was attending there. I absolutely loved her, and the classes she taught so I was excited she was going to be a 'guest artist' at the West Jordan T.A. and that she had invited anyone and everyone to come. (That meant I could too!) It was an odd feeling driving back into that parking lot with the intention of going inside of that building and staying in there for an extended period of time. Sunnie and I stopped at the starbucks across the lot, (I have finally paid for something in all quarters! It was an adventure I can cross off of my list!) I got my usual, Peppermint Mocha. Sunnie got herself, Allison, and Allison's assistant a starbucks beverage. We both were a bit nervous to go in so we waited in my car listening to the new Mika album, and waiting for Allison to arrive. At about 9:30am, as a group of 4, we walked into the building. Heads turned. (I may want to add here that my departure from Taylor Andrews was less than pleasant. I went for about 9 months, and it was absolute Hell for me. I have learned many wonderful things from that institution, and it is an excellent school/education for those who have a strong desire to learn hair and aesthetics... but I did not.) Shock and curiosity filled the air. The owner of the school, Larry Curtis, was as I had expected. He was seemingly apathetic, and trying to avoid interaction with me. Which to be perfectly honest, I preferred. I didn't want to have to make eye contact, fake a smile, or move a greeting out of my lips for that man. He is a man with many excellent qualities, and has made quite a name for himself, but... my opinion of him was less than, um, well... friendly. We made our way to the media room, where Sunnie and I found seats in the back. I got all settled while Sunnie scampered off to gossip and assist Allison who is a close personal friend of hers. Now is should be understood that Allison is a very genuine type of person. She believes what she believes, and has more confidence than anyone I know. Everything she has she has rightfully earned, and deserves full credit. But! She doesn't want the credit! She loves doing what she does simply because she is doing it. She taught this same class or something like it while I was in school, but at that time I wasn't feeling my best (I was unknowingly battling the infection) and I simply did not want to be attending that school. It was nothing against Allison as her classes were the only ones I would truly actively listen to, but as a result I didn't retain much of this lecture. It was a class on the book 'The Four Agreements' by Don Miguel Ruiz. Here are my notes on the Lecture:

Allison's intro: Learning, and Retaining

*The best way to learn/remember is to relate to the material to something in your personal life.

*We all have the ability to learn or to not learn in all that we do. Attention is the ability we have to focus on what we want to perceive.

*The only way to (we) store information is by agreement.

*As soon as we agree with something we remember it, and we believe in it.

*Everyone has their own book of law; based upon how they were raised & taught. However, we judge everyone bases upon our own book of law. Not everyone is going to follow your book of law. Not everyone is you.

*Judge/Victim/Conscience: Judge uses your book of law to judge & pass down his opinions about everything/everyone. Victim believes everything judge says. Conscience is your inner you, and will most often be the voice of real truth.

*True Justice: True Justice decrees that we only pay for a mistake once. As humans how many mistakes do we pay and re-pay for. How many times do we make those around us pay for their mistakes?

*Out Biggest Fear: Is not death. It is to be alive. Our biggest fear is taking the risks to be and express to others who you really are. F.alse E.vidence A.ppearing R.eal.

*We have created an image of perfection based on the ramblings of the Judge & Victim, as well as our book of law, and our fear of living authentically. We will never live up to that view. Not being perfect we abuse and reject ourselves. Nobody abuses ourselves like we do. The Great News is the more self-love we have and foster, the less we self-abuse.

The First Agreement: Be Impeccable With Your Word.

Speak with Integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

*The first agreement is the most important and can be the most difficult to keep. Be Impeccable With Your Word. It sounds simple, but it is very very powerful!

*Why your word? Words can wield a world of change, for the better or worse. (Example: Hitler)

*People who are impeccable with their words are annoying to those who are not impeccable with their words.

*Misuse of words is also how we pull each other down and keep each other in a state of fear and doubt. We have all heard the saying "Misery loves company."

*Gossip is easily fixed in two ways: Refuse to pass it on, or say something nice to counter-act it. There is so much freedom in being immune to everyone else's opinions of you and your situation.

The Second Agreement: Don't Take Anything Personally.

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

*Whatever happens around you, do not take it personally. Nothing people do is because of, for, or about you. It is about them.

*"If your life sucks, You suck"

*Taking things personally makes you easy prey for those negative opinions and tearing comments.

*You can to choose to follow your heart ALWAYS without fear of retaliation or rejection.

*When we take things personally and we get offended, we react by defending ourselves, our own beliefs, and we create conflict.

*Remember: IT IS NEVER ABOUT YOU. IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT THEM!

The Third Agreement: Don't Make Assumptions.

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement you can transform your life.

*We have the tendency to make assumptions. The problem with making assumptions is we believe them.

*All the sadness and drama in your life has been rooted in taking things personally, then making assumptions.

*90% of the time when you are offended the other person has no idea.

*It's always better to ask for clarification than make an assumption; because the assumptions set us up for suffering for nothing.

*ASS/U/ME: Assuming is great at this. It does make an ass out of you and me; but mostly you!

*Assuming in relationships is really asking for problems. Often we go into a relationships with people we don't like very much, saying to ourselves "Our love will change them." Real love is accepting people as they are; without trying to change them. Find someone you don't have to change and who won't try to change you. Someone with whom this can be your motto: 'If you love me the way I am, take me. If not, okay, bye bye, find someone else.'

*Allison's recommendation: Before jumping into a relationship make the pro/con list. If you can live with the con list, without trying to change them... you will probably be very successful in your relationship! If you can't live with the con list and choose to be in the relationship anyway... it's your fault.

The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best.
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
*Your best will change over time. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Your best is not always the same. Everything is alive; so there will be fluctuation.

*Doing your best you are going to live intensely. 70% of people hate/dislike their job. 30% Like or love their job.

*It is the action that makes you happy, not the success or the reward. If it isn't this way, it should be.

*When you do your best, there is no regret. Action is about enjoying life.

*You can be you when you do your best! You don't need the acceptance of others.

*You choose your legacy. What you leave as your legacy on this earth is how you treat and love others.

It was an amazing class, and I am so happy I was able to attend! Better yet! I spoke, and actively participated... which shocked more than one person, and made it all the more enjoyable for me!