My Baby Girl

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Call Me Happy Endings, but This Ain't Goodbye...

I honestly don't know how he does it. His birthday is in 3 days, and I will most likely wish him a happy one.  There will be things that will forever and ever remind me of him, and they will probably always make me smile. I've tried hating him. I've tried being apathetic towards him. I've tried erasing, ignoring, avoiding, and forgetting. It just doesn't work. I don't know how he does it, but I can't. I will forever think of and consider him a friend. I've forgiven the pain, and mistreatment. I forgave that a long time ago. I don't understand how he seems able to simply displace, and brush off the years, time, and experiences we went through together, but I can't. And I no longer want to. I have just accepted I will always love him as a friend, and as a part of my past. He will and should do as he pleases, but as for me... this is where I stand. This, it seems, is what my heart wants.



Call Me - Shinedown

Happy Endings - Mika

This Ain't Goodbye - Train

Big Hearted Pains

I have this person that I care a lot about, and I know that they are seriously hurting right now... but I don't know if I would be out of line in asking them if they are okay.

Well, I already know the answer to that, so I guess I more want to know if there is anything I can do for them, to help ease the pain.

... You know?

But... would my interfering help or harm? Would it be a bad decision? Should I just wait and see what happens?

If they wanted to talk with me, they would have contacted me... right?

Maybe I'll just ask Aaron. He'll know what to do.

181st Semi-Annual General Conference

I love General Conference! I love that it fills two days. I love that if you truly listen to the words and counsel of those who have been asked to speak, you receive answers to your questions, both asked and un-asked. Advice and and counsel that is much needed. I love the power, and comfort that comes from watching and listening to the leaders of our religion as they speak on the topics the Lord has given them. I am so grateful for the opportunity we are given to benefit from the testimonies of these great saints. (So far, my favorite has been Kent F. Richards talk!)

One thing that I have been thinking about during this first session of conference, is the Sunday worship. How do I, and the people around me view Sunday service? Do we take it as an obligation, something we have to do out of habit? Is it a negative thing we begrudgingly roll out of bed for? Something we eagerly await the end of so we can take the rest of the day and do what we want? Or do we realize it is a blessing to be able to come together and worship together? Do we benefit from the strength that comes in numbers, and the unity of so many that share our faith and belief? I know I vary between this. There are Sundays when I fight with myself. I don't want to wake up, and getting ready seems like such a hassel. More often than not, I am excited to attend the 3 hour block, and I strive to get both Aaron and I there on time. Though he works a full, and hard 12 hour shift on Saturdays, he does his very best to be up and ready in time to go. Some mornings all he is able to do is be there for sacrament, but I have never seen someone so dedicated to gaining what he can from what little he is able to attend. That example, I know, has been one of the things that has kept me mindful of the fact that it is a blessing to be able to attend sunday services. Another thing, is it is a new develpment for Aaron to be able to sit with me through all of our church services. Aaron works 3, 12-hour shifts, and 1 6-hour shift. His schedule used to be Sun-Wed, now it is, Wed-Sat. I cannot express to you how grateful I am for Sundays together with him. There is a different feeling on Sundays, and the fact that I am now able to spend the full day with him is incredibly special to me. On the Sundays when he would work, he would stay with me until 11:30. I would then go to him and spend his lunch break with him at 6pm. I don't know what it is, but there is something very special about spending Sundays with the people you love.

I am excited to listen to, and find out what the rest of the speakers have to say. To learn what it is our Father in Heaven would like us to know and focus on at this time.

HAPPY GENERAL CONFERENCE WEEKEND!!!

P.S. Does anyone else find it funny that is rains every conference weekend?