It took me just under 5 hours to drive from Cedar City Utah, to Logan Utah. In those 5 hours I was able to accept, move past, understand, and reach an important decision.
I drove to Cedar City friday morning with my dear friend Marisa. She graduated from Southern Utah University, and I am so happy I was able to watch her participate in the graduation ceremony! I stopped to visit my twinbrotherIneverwantedbutloveanyway Chris. I met his fantastic girlfriend Stephy! I spent Friday night and Saturday morning with my darling Jo, where we talked till we couldn't speak anymore! I love her so much and I am extremely grateful we are family! After the graduation ceremony I went back to help Jo pack some of her things into my car. I had volunteered my boat sized lumina to her, and offered to drive her stuff to her home in 'K-Town.' I was headed in that direction anyway. During my solitary drive to Kaysville I was able to think about everything that was going on in my life, from my dad and his current state of being as well as my current family situation, to my school and what I want out of life, etc. I finished the night by driving to Logan to visit with a friend. The next morning I left around 7am; it was snowing in Logan (go figure... Ha!) but I found I didn't mind it. That funny little town has a comforting feel, and a gorgeous scenery. Driving back through the canyon was somewhat of a surreal experience. Logan was very green, the colors of every thing around held such depth! Suddenly the world turned into a gray scale, it was sort of like walking into a black and white film after passing through one of Disneys Remastered films. It was so unique, and oddly pointed. I felt like I was watching Nature paint out my life. As the canyon walls picked up color again I finally reached a few conclusions, and made an important decision that will be seen within the next few months. I didn't go straight home. I stopped at the Jordan River Parkway, and took a little walk. I took a few pictures and let my ipod play on shuffle for a bit, while I enjoyed the color depth the rain had left.
On the drive home from the parkway this song (Melody - Kate Earl) came on. I really resonated with what she is saying, and cannot stop listening to it. I know I say this all the time, but this really fits me in this moment. I love that music is always there as an escape, and there is always, and will always be a song that sings out what my heart cannot, or will not display. I may not have my dad's ability to pull out the music in my head for everyone to share, but I at the very least am able to lose myself in the sound of my own melody.
No matter what has ever come to me
I got my own brand of company
I got da da da inside my head
And i play songs back to back until i got to bed
Wake up by myself inside an empty room
There's no body next to mine to oooh
But my skin is warm and my heart is full
It's the do do do do do do
Walking waking on a crowded street
With my headphones loud
So my hips can swing, so my head can nod
To the rock and roll to the boom boom beat
and i find that i'm never alone
and i find that my heart is my home
and the music within makes me whole
A world that i built on my own
and i know that i'm never alone
and i know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody
No matter what has ever come to me
I got my own kind of company
I got ba ba ba inside my head
And i sing songs back to back until i go to bed
There's a river in my mind that's never still
Swirling, soothing all the time gives me a thrill
Swimming in the notes that go
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Wandering, waking in an empty wood
It is quiet here, i am powerful
I look down below serenade the world
From inside my soul
and i find that i'm never alone
and i find that my heart is my home
and the music within makes me whole
A world that i built on my own
and i know that i'm never alone
and i know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody
I can find in a melody
When the walls begin to creep in
And the sky is fallin down
When i'm swallowed up in feelings
I get lost inside the sound...
and i find that i'm never alone
and i find that my heart is my home
and the music within makes me whole
A world that i built on my own
and i know that i'm never alone
and i know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody
I can find in a melody
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