The Rose

The Rose - LeAnn Rimes with the Gay Men's Choir of Los Angeles



Yes, I am LDS, and yes I am a Christian, and yes, I understand the views of both on the topic of gays... but I also believe God loves all his children, without condition. I will keep my full views to myself for now, but know that I love my gay friends/family, and though I may differ in beliefs, and opinions from them I refuse to judge and exhile someone because of the way they choose to live their life. It is not our place to judge, it is our requirement to love.

Toilet Flushes and Sunny Delight Bottles

The new suspicion is that I have type 2 Diabetes, and while it really wouldn't surprise me, I kind of don't want to find out if I do or not. (Stupid if I don't relent, but it's me. I'll procrastinate as long as I can.) But because Aaron said please, and Jennifer threatened me, I called a medical professional and while they agree it sounds like diabetes, I have to schedule a blood test to prove it. Joy.

 I hate needles.

How this suspicion was put on the table?

Tuesday evening:
"Go pee again?"

"Yes, where did you think I went?"

"Jess, I think you need to be tested for diabetes."

"Where on earth did that come from?"

"You pee a lot."

"What does that have to do with Diabetes?"

"It's one of the symptoms."

I am already hypoglycemic/anemic . I always knew becoming a diabetic was a possibility, but I have this thing called a superwoman complex... So, when my hypoglycemia suddenly seemed to be on steroids, I started to wonder, but pushed those thoughts away. Until my lovingly observant boyfriend decided to point out I pee a lot... Thanks Aaron. He's mentioned before he felt I might be leaning more towards being a diabetic a few times, but when I ignored that idea he let it drop... until now. Now that the signs are neon colored, and sound a lot like a constant flushing toilet.

What are the symptoms you ask, well:

• Fatigue: In diabetes, the body is inefficient and sometimes unable to use glucose for fuel. The body switches over to metabolizing fat, partially or completely, as a fuel source. This process requires the body to use more energy. The end result is feeling fatigued or constantly tired. (This one is funny for me. I'll fall asleep everywhere, and not realize I've fallen asleep until I wake up... Bad news... I have slept through more alarms in these past few months than I have in my 22 years... Lame. Oh, and I can sleep for a full 10 hours, take a nap halfway through the day, and still be exhausted by 10 pm. I used to function beautifully on 4-6 hours.)
• Unexplained weight loss: People with diabetes are unable to process many of the calories in the foods they eat. Thus, they may lose weight even though they eat an apparently appropriate or even excessive amount of food. Losing sugar and water in the urine and the accompanying dehydration also contributes to weight loss. (My pants have never really fit me very well, because I don't believe 0 is a size, but apparently it's my size now. Yeah... thank you karma...)
  
• Excessive thirst (polydipsia): A person with diabetes develops high blood sugar levels, which overwhelms the kidney's ability to reabsorb the sugar as the blood is filtered to make urine. Excessive urine is made as the kidney spills the excess sugar. The body tries to counteract this by sending a signal to the brain to dilute the blood, which translates into thirst. The body encourages more water consumption to dilute the high blood sugar back to normal levels and to compensate for the water lost by excessive urination. (The only thing that even gives me some sort of relief from the constant thirst is orange juice/Sunny Delight. Random? Yeah, I think so too. At any rate I have downed 2 gallons of Sunny D in 4 days, I fill a glass of water, and a water bottle every night, who knows how many drinks Aaron has bought for me... Yeah, I thought I had to pee all the time because I was constantly thirsty... It would make sense right!?)
  
• Excessive urination (polyuria): Another way the body tries to get rid of the extra sugar in the blood is to excrete it in the urine. This can also lead to dehydration because excreting the sugar carries a large amount of water out of the body along with it. (This, This is the one that annoys the dickens out of me!!! I counted how many times I peed yesterday -- 15 times in the 12 hours that I was awake. Pathetic!)
  
• Excessive eating (polyphagia): If the body is able, it will secrete more insulin in order to try to deal with the excessive blood sugar levels. Moreover, the body is resistant to the action of insulin in type 2 diabetes. One of the functions of insulin is to stimulate hunger. Therefore, higher insulin levels lead to increased hunger and eating. Despite increased caloric intake, the person may gain very little weight and may even lose weight. (I actually kind of like this one. I've experienced so many more foods now, because I'm usually dizzy enough [meaning I need food asap] to eat just about anything! It's been kind of fun... Hahaha!)
  
• Poor wound healing: High blood sugar levels prevent white blood cells, which are important in defending the body against bacteria and also in cleaning up dead tissue and cells, from functioning normally. When these cells do not function properly, wounds take much longer to heal and become infected more frequently. Also, long-standing diabetes is associated with thickening of blood vessels, which prevents good circulation including the delivery of enough oxygen and other nutrients to body tissues. (Bruises have appeared out of no where. I don't bruise easily, but suddenly I have these massive bruises all over my legs. I've had a sick looking bruise just above my left knee for 2 months now. It is slowly getting lighter, it's a little wicked. This was the first thing I really noticed truth be told. I had a cut on my finger that took about 3 weeks to heal, when normally something like that took maybe a few days. Not Kosher!)
  
• Infections: Certain infection syndromes, such as frequent yeast infections of the genitals, skin infections, and frequent urinary tract infections, may result from suppression of the immune system by diabetes and by the presence of glucose in the tissues, which allows bacteria to grow well. They can also be an indicator of poor blood sugar control in a person known to have diabetes. (This is a little gross, but -- I had my first UTI in January of 2009. I've had at least 5 since then. Not sure if that is normal or not, but it was a point of interest for medical personnel.)
  
• Altered mental status: Agitation, unexplained irritability, inattention, extreme lethargy, or confusion can all be signs of very high blood sugar, ketoacidosis, hyperosmolar hyperglycemia nonketotic syndrome, or hypoglycemia (low sugar). Thus, any of these merit the immediate attention of a medical professional. Call your health care provider. (I am already hypoglycemic... Ta da! Oh yeah, and I've been wicked ornery lately. Tasha, Aaron, Jennifer, are all witness to it. OH! And I've become paranoid about a few things that are completely illogical... Cool right? Bonus? I am now more stubborn than ever!)
  
• Blurry vision: Blurry vision is not specific for diabetes but is frequently present with high blood sugar levels. (And I thought I just needed to have my glasses prescription adjusted! I can't see worth crap at night. It gets a little scary sometimes. Though this is the symptom that has really caught my attention. I've been noticing I can't see as far as I was able to even just a few months ago, and I can't see the lines on the road at night. This one seemed to happen all at once for me. It's been the only thing that really worries me. I simply associated the rest with my failure to keep up with my dietary needs of late coming back to bite me in the ass.) 

We will just have to see where this goes, but as for right now... I'm pretending I am still just the normal Jess, with the exception of needing to be near a toilet at all times. I'll let you know what happens when I go in for the blood test next week, or the week following... whenever I get around to getting it done... :)

1 + 2 = A Good Day!

1: Steven Tyler rocks my world! The man is amazing, and every time I see him on that judge panel Ragdoll starts going off in my head. AH!


2: I love my 2-year old stud-muffin baby brother! The kid is stinking adorable, and keeps me laughing all day!

Impending Writers Cramp

I have only a few moments, but I need to tell someone.

I miss my Alaina!!!

I know the Lord needs her in Texas, sharing the gospel with those around her...

But I can't help but wish she was still just a short hop, skip, and a jump away. I know she would know just what to do! She always did have the answers when no one else had a clue!

I suppose another half-novel letter will have to do for now.

Nobody Is Going To Give You Freedom, You Just Have To Take It.

Life's Little Adventures - Updated

I believe in honor of the new year, I will re-post my 'Life List' and update those items I have accomplished.

The ones in bold I have already accomplished.

1.) Tour the UK and Egypt  

2.) Learn to speak French and Spanish fluently  

3.) Swim the English Chanel 

4.) Be financially stable enough to donate to others  

5.) Find balance between taking care of myself and giving to others

6.) Go camping

7.) Go skydiving  

8.) Go Ivy League 

9.) Get Over fear of Mexico 

10.) Fall in love with my best friend  

11.) Go on a cruise  

12.) Buy a car, of my choice.  

13.) Acquire as many old books as possible

14.) Memorize how to spell pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis 

15.) Visit the East Coast during autumn  

16.) Finish the 50 books to read before you die list 

17.) Go abroad and teach English  

18.) Kiss a boy from every zodiac sign

19.) Live outside of Utah 

20.) Move out of my parents house  

21.) Reconnect with people from my childhood

22.) Find that one soul I can take to 'Neverland' 

23.) Do something with my photography 

24.) Learn the constellations 

25.) Go to Disneyland, and Disneyworld  

26.) Get my Bachelors degree before I’m 25  

27.) Visit the temple every week for a year

28.) Jump a waterfall 

29.) Pay a compliment to someone every day for a year

30.) Experience New York 

31.) Go back to Washington D.C. and tour everything there 

32.) Ride an elephant 

33.) Learn to play the piano well 

34.) Get baptized. 

35.) Climb Ensign Peak every week for a summer

36.) Be able to beat all the 'Gus' girls in a race 

37.) Sell a photograph I have taken 

38.) Learn to ski/snowboard 

39.) Learn calligraphy 

40.) Lose fear of singing in public 

41.) Read a 1,000 page book. 

42.) Go Kayaking/canoeing  

43.) Run mile in 5 min 

44.) Join ballroom team 

45.) Earn all girl scout patches. 

46.) Set up a steady savings account 

47.) Memorize a poem longer than 5 stanzas

48.) Play in an orchestra  

49.) Visit Amish country  

50.) Kiss in the rain  

51.) See the Aurora Borealis  

52.) Learn to play the guitar well 

53.) Find someone I trust with everything and anything  

54.) Write a book and get it published  

55.) Bear my testimony in sacrament 

56.) Have an extensive vocabulary  

57.) Make-out in a walk in refrigerator/freezer, car wash, and the SLC library 

58.) Reach over 10,000 songs on itunes 

59.) Kiss a stranger  

60.) Help someone else gain self-confidence

61.) Visit every art museum in Utah 

62.) Visit all 50 states 

63.) Learn to love everyone around me for who they are, and are trying to be 

64.) Build a tree house 

65.) Plant a garden 

66.) Own my own house 

65.) Re-gain contact with a best friend from the past

66.) Develop own style 

67.) Graduate from High School 

68.) Graduate from College 

69.) Learn to do flips and handsprings 

70.) Fill a sketch book 

71.) Learn to paint 

72.) Write a song and sing it for someone 

73.) Get married in the temple 

74.) Free climb a cliff face 

75.) Learn to rappel 

76.) Tend a rose garden I planted 

77.) Tell someone I love them and mean it whole heartedly 

78.) Appreciate the small things every day for a year

79.) Be the first to point out the silver lining in every bad situation for a month

80.) Write a gratitude moment every day in journal for a month

81.) Experience something no one else has 

82.) Develop a true relationship with Christ 

83.) Learn to be self-less 

84.) Go streaking and skinny dipping

85.) Make a new friend every month
86.) Go backpacking
87.) Learn to shoot a gun
88.) Dance naked around a bonfire
89.) Go hunting
90.) Drive a truck

Dirty Snow

Ready set... DONE WITH THIS GROSS SNOW, GRAY SCENERY, AND THE BLASTED COLD!!!

Mkay, I fail at blogging take 567...

Here is the un-official announcement that I have dragged my feet about posting.

The story of Aaron and Jess:

Initially I met, or sort of met Aaron at the 2009 Super Bowl party. ( You know, the one between the Steelers and the Cardinals. Where the Steelers WON!!!) Aaron is Patrick DeVaney's best friend, and I happened to be friends with Amber DeVaney. I was sitting on the couch watching the game, when Patrick and Aaron come smashing through the room and sit on top of the people sitting on one of the couches, being loud, and rude, and pardon my French, but royal Assholes to everyone. My distaste for someone had never been peaked so quickly. What irked me even more, was Aaron carried himself differently from anyone else in the room. There was such a different spirit around him. I'd felt that pull from someone once before, and I wanted nothing to do with it, especially if the guy was as rude and pompous, and self-righteous as Aaron seemed to be. (Ironically enough, Aaron immediately 'wrote me off' that night as well. He though Cameron was mine. He'd dated girls with kids before and wanted none of it!) In fact, when Amber started pointing to people and telling me who they were, and sort of informally introducing me to those I didn't know, I got up and left when she said "This is Aaron." I really didn't want to know him! I used Cameron as an excuse. (I had him with me as my family was on their cruise. Cameron was 6 weeks old at this point. If you'll remember this post from that time. I had stayed behind to watch baby, and make sure he had someone there that knew what was going on, and that he was familiar with.) Over the course of the year I grew closer to Amber, and got to know Patrick fairly well. Their dad Lonnie would share his opinion of "You should date Aaron" each time I came over. I made the mistake of asking who it was that owned the Dodge Viper SRT. I received quite the shock when I learned it was Aaron's truck. My first thought: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!? THAT ASSWIPE OWNS ONE OF THE SEXIEST TRUCKS ON THIS GREAT GREEN EARTH!?!?!?!?!?!?  

 (This was the truck. Pee-your-pants gorgeous right!?)  The hard truth? Yes, he did, but he sold it as car payments+fuel+Insurance= No money for anything else. He now drives Buck, which I am absolutely in love with. Aaron is well aware I am only dating him for his truck and marrying him for his money. :) (For those of you who can't read sarcasm -- I am totally joking. I actually like Aaron, but only just a little bit. I promise!) Anyway, I avoided Aaron, and he stayed clear of me. I honestly did not like the guy! I couldn't understand how he had friends. He still wanted nothing to do with me, as no one had informed him I did not have a baby. (Because apparently I looked like I'd just had a kid... Yeah, couldn't break my peak of 109 lbs at that point in time, thank you dentist/hospital/heart!) There were a few moments when I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, then he and Patrick would do something stupid and annoying. At Amber's wedding in October Aaron was sort of forced to stop in and say hello to me while I was curling Monica's hair in the bathroom. Lonnie and Patrick wouldn't quit bugging him about it. I however, was super annoyed with him. He was being moody, and beyond ornery. I thought he should just go home if he was going to be a bother the whole day! It wasn't until this summer that we even started talking. Patrick put up a picture of Aaron dressed up as Joe Dirt/Hillbilly. I commented and said "Aaron, we should be friends." He took me seriously, and I accepted. He didn't place who I was, just that I'd said we should be friends I wasn't actually being serious when I'd said that. I was being facetious, he didn't quite catch that part, so he sent a friend request on Facebook. I accepted the request via mobile Facebook. I knew I knew his name, but couldn't place where from, or why it felt so familiar, but I had the distinct impression I needed to accept his request. Aaron began to comment on my status updates, and we'd have mini conversations over Facebook. After about a month (July '10) of these Facebook comment conversations Patrick started to insist Aaron liked me. I didn't think anything of it. I had no interest in seriously dating anyone. I was quite happy with my flippant ways, and my very open, very versatile dating life! I learned Aaron didn't want to date. Period. To put it simply, he'd been through Hell and back with several different girls, and had given up. Meanwhile, God had a different plan for us. Sunnie and I ended up going to Lava Hot Springs for the ward camp out. We both felt like we needed to go, though neither of us really wanted to go, or understood why we felt a strong need to be there. In the end I am really glad we did go. We found Patrick, and Aaron sitting in one of the Hot Springs, and sat down with them. Almost immediately Patrick splashed me and Aaron pulled me under. Hello, nice second-first impression... HA! The next morning (that night wasn't all that amazing... Sun and I were told the wrong location, so we pitched our tent with a bunch of stranger. Aaron and Gavin came over, carried our tend [which was still up] and moved it to the right location) Sunnie and I stuck with Patrick and Aaron. Chatted it up, and left early with them. We followed them to a random location where I was taught how to shoot a gun. :) Sunnie was re-taught how to shoot, but Aaron ended up feeling stupid when Sunnie hit the target right off the bat. Aaron - "You already knew how to shoot a gun didn't you." Sunnie - "I'm a hunter's daughter." Aaron - "Well I feel like an idiot now." BAH hahahahaha! We still laugh about that! You know what is funny about all of this, I didn't process this was the Super-bowl idiot until after I realized I had a small sort of crush on Aaron... Ironic right? Aaron asked me to be his girlfriend Sept. 10, sitting in the back of his truck under a curtain of stars. I knew I was going to marry this kid after about 2 weeks of dating him. It scared me to death, but I knew it. I could feel it. So could he. And so we reach the point we are at now. December of 2010, and planning a wedding. AHHHH! I never thought I'd actually get married. This is going to be a new adventure!

I am unofficially announcing this. Yes, on the internet. I know, smart right!?

I am getting married in a special month on a super neat day in the year 2011 to Aaron R. Durrant. (Obviously...) I'm going to keep the details to myself for now, you'll get them if I love you... Or if your are Tasha and you happen to be the person I text when I am freaking out. :)

I will say this: I AM NOT OFFICIALLY/TECHNICALLY ENGAGED YET! Meaning, Aaron hasn't "officially" proposed yet, and Yes, this is my fault. I asked him not to propose until January 2011 at the very earliest, no holidays, or birthdays... I know it's a little funny, both of our parents are getting tired of us dragging out feet about it... but I have my reasons, and Aaron is just patient enough with me to agree to my plea!