I am coming up on the 3 year mark to the single most frightening experience of my short life time. May 21, 2008 will forever be a day that I remember. I still dream about it, and the 4 weeks that followed it. I still wonder how people reacted, what went through their minds, and what they felt. In the moments I do remember, I know how I felt. I know how I reacted, and I know what was going through my mind. There are mornings when the dreams are so real I wake up with the taste of hospital in my mouth, and the scent of gauze still haunting me. I read something today that reminded me of the morning I finally let myself cry. The morning I finally gave myself a moment to fall into weakness, and feel the fear I'd been denying for so long. At the end of that I made a promise to myself. I chose life. I promised I would forever choose life, and no matter what happened next, I was going to survive through it all. 
"I’m in this for the long run, and even though my world is uncertain and changing, I want nothing more than to live an extraordinary life. I may be lonely, scared, and little sad at the moment, but I think that that’s alright...for now. I am being stretched constantly, and all I can do is breathe, and try to choose between what’s right and easy."
So far, I have. I have not only survived, but I have learned how to live! I am happy, and I am in this for the long run! I am running as fast as time will let me, and I am pushing boundaries I have never dared to push. Until now. I couldn't be more excited, and scared for what is happening, and what has yet to happen. This is a good thing! I can feel it. I am learning. I am growing. And, I am where I am supposed to be.
No one really knows the end, or what will happen, though we may plan every detail... it's all a test of faith.
I suppose that is half the excitement. . .
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